And so, it’s been a month at least since I posted here. Life, or should I say, work, has taken up most of my time and it continues to do so.
The holidays were pleasant. I did get sick on Boxing day as well as New Years but I survived. Funny though, cause I was sick when I didn’t have to work. It would have been great if it was a work day so then I’d have a reasonable excuse to stay home.
The greatest thing about the holidays is that I got to spend time with the people I love…I especially had time with my Mom. It’s been extremely hectic lately because I’ve been working 12-14 hours a day that I barely see or speak to my family.
I think even I’m impressed with myself because upon joining this new Company, I only had 2 months to pull things together to push our product launch. And I made it.
But anyway…that aside…
2012 has definitely been a year that I will always remember.
I kept getting sick.
I found out I had a tumor.
I had surgery. I almost died.
I lost my job.
I lost my love.
…But I survived.
In many ways, I’ve changed…and so has my family. It truly has been a blessing in disguise. We still fight amongst ourselves but we are a closer family unit and we have a better understanding of one another.
On a personal note, I’ve learned that I should take better care of myself in terms of attending to my own needs. I do need to take time off and unwind without feeling guilty for being ‘unproductive’. I’ve lived my life on ‘score cards’ where the measure of my productivity appeared to take precedence over everything else. Ambition, drive…they’re great things but I have literally worked myself until I couldn’t work anymore.
Had I not gotten sick, I would’ve continued living my life on 25 hour days every day when each day has only 24. The funny thing is, all my friends were quick to point it out.
2012 has been a challenging year but in spite of all the difficulties I’ve encountered, I think everything worked out for the best.
For starters, family relations have improved, as I just mentioned. And now, I am healthier than I used to be. Last January, I remember feeling sick every time I’d get out of bed, thinking that it’s probably just me not wanting to go to work. I didn’t realize that I was really sick. Today, I still struggle with health issues (my Endometriosis) but I am trying my best to cope.
I haven’t fully recovered from surgery yet. Needless to say, major surgery is no joke. I really dislike the fact that people say you should be fine in 1-2 months when it’s far from the truth. When you have your insides cut up, it really does have an impact on your body. And blah blah – so on so forth with the ‘it depends on your overall health condition’ – either way, it hurts. It bloody does hurt A LOT.
I have concerns about my health and my healing which is why I’m thinking of working elsewhere if I can find something better. Thing is, I cannot continue to work the way I do. I can see myself falling into the same cycle if I let this keep up…and I don’t want to be caught in that again.
While I did lose my job but I was offered this one I have now. I am grateful but the schedule is too demanding and my boss doesn’t want to hire additional people since he thinks it’s not necessary…apparently, he prefers to have everyone work 12-14 hours a day.
I think I will have to move on soon.
On New Years Eve, when the clock struck midnight, we all hollered and danced around, sharing hugs and kisses for all the best in 2013. I looked at my Mom and said : ‘I survived 2012. I’m alive.’ She looked at me and she hugged me and said : ‘Live your life well, my child. You will be okay. Live your life.’
So, goodbye 2012. I have survived the challenges and the heartache and I’m ready to leave them behind. The experiences I’ve had has definitely shaped the person I am today…and I have to say, I think I’m pretty awesome.
And this, I believe, has been the biggest lesson of all…that I am more than I give myself credit for.
2013, here I come.