I miss blogging. I miss writing.
I’ve been too busy to do what I love most because work has been keeping me on my toes that I can’t seem to find the time or energy to do much else. Blogging takes quite a chunk of time, even if it’s just a single post, not to mention visiting other people’s blogs to read and leave comments on. It’s quite time intensive, come to think of it.
So. It’s been 4 months and I’m still working in the same place. I’ve had a couple of offers elsewhere but unfortunately, the two Companies could not afford to hire me. What they had proposed in monetary compensation isn’t enough for me to be able to fulfill my responsibilities.
It would have been easier if I didn’t have so much to consider or take care of. I know I have the choice. I can choose to dump my family and use my income for myself. I could actually live very well if I did. But, the ‘responsible’ and ‘conscious’ part of me can’t live with that. And so, I need to find ways to bridge the gap. With this in mind, I cannot simply accept an offer that is lower than what I have now…and it seems quite difficult these days to find a good paying job.
I had an agreement with my boss prior to signing my contract. We both agreed that I’d have X amount as a starting wage and this would then be reviewed after 3 months. (After probation) Since it’s been 4 months already, and I’ve not received any additional compensation, I thought to ask.
Quite frankly speaking, I feel quite demoralized to have to ask for more money when this is what was discussed before I signed on. So, as I engaged my boss about the subject, he simply said…’Well, we didn’t discuss that…’
I was shocked and replied with : ‘Excuse me? I wouldn’t be asking if that were the case. I had specifically asked you about this subject and you told me that it’s standard anyway – reviews are after probation so I can expect an appraisal then.’
I made a mistake.
We had indeed discussed this but unfortunately, I did not think much to clearly state this in my contract. It’s pretty standard in every place I had worked in – 3 months probation and an appraisal after.
…Because of this mistake, I will now have to wait until Summer, perhaps. That is, IF I am still in the Company then.
It’s insulting, I have to say. What’s even worse is when he said : ‘Of course, if you provide value to the Company, for sure we can increase your compensation during the Summer when our cash flow situation is better. Sorry but we cannot do that now and I’m sure you can understand the cash flow.’
I just thought, wow…VALUE? And why didn’t he talk to me about this instead of having me chase after my raise?
- Setting up the online business infrastructure with limited resources in less than 2 months? or…
- Managing to open B2B and B2C channels for the business? or…
- Helping the business rake in close to 300K USD in sales within the first month of our product launch? In ONE channel alone?
Isn’t THAT value?
I feel like I’ve been stiffed. I feel cheated.
And the person who got a 50% wage increase does not equally contribute as much as I do. In fact, this person is quite a liability since she has no experience whatsoever and the boss made her one of the Managers…because she’s related to him…and so…with the lack of experience comes problems in which the rest of us constantly have to do damage control for all the mess she creates…and now she’s getting almost the same wage as I am…and I am doing more work and hours than she is.
So, where’s the value in that?
I feel undervalued and demoralized. Truly.
I would have walked there and then but then I can’t just do that. I have responsibilities and I am not the type of person who walks away from them…at the same time, I find myself feeling utterly disgusted and disheartened.
I told my boss that I’d fulfill my responsibilities as agreed per the scope of work I committed too, however, I don’t see myself staying in the Company long term; or even up to a year just to get a raise. I simply said that value goes both ways. If this Company does not have value to my career development and monetary gains then the sensible decision would be for me to seek employment elsewhere.
Following the conversation I had with my wonderful boss (yes, I’m being sarcastic), I decided to head out for a drink with my best friend.
And here’s what she said.
‘You’re maturing and that’s a good thing. You’re coming into your own person and you realize your value and worth which is why you can stand up for yourself. Consider it a good thing.’
And I realized that she’s right.
I know MY value. It doesn’t matter if anyone else doesn’t see it. For as long as I do, I know I’ll make better choices the next time around. And, I think, ultimately, this is the lesson that I was meant to learn and it is why I came to work with such colorful characters.
So, what is YOUR value?