When beginning a relationship, it’s easy to focus on our partner– everything is new and you just want to be with them constantly and putting their needs first comes all too easily. In fact, you want to, butt as time goes by, it becomes natural to sink back into your old habits. Once again, you start to put yourself first, you start to take your partner for granted and fall into a routine, whether it be daily, conversationally or sexually.
However, the key to keeping a happy relationship is keeping a balance and remembering that your needs are just as important as theirs. Today, I want to help you make sure you’re taking care of their sexual needs. As anyone can tell you, sex is a major part of a relationship and if you let it slip, your relationship just might slip too. Follow some of these tips to make sure you’re keeping your bedroom antics fun and that you’re satisfying your partner.
Start with communication. It might seem obvious, but your partner may be self conscious when bringing up sexual concerns. If you feel like things have taken a nose dive, step back and sit them down. Have an open and honest discussion about what’s been going on. Are they bored? Are you doing enough? Do they feel like something is missing? There’s no way to know until you start talking.
Secondly, think about your actions in bed. Have you become selfish? Are you just going through the motions until you have both gotten off? If so, it’s time to kick it up again. Sure you both got off, but not to your full potential. The next time you get busy, dedicate all of your effort into making sure they have a good time. Don’t even let them get you there. Shower them in attention and pleasure and they just might do the same for you next time. This is also a great way to make the two of you feel closer because it shows them that you care about their pleasure and are still attracted to them.
If you need a few ideas for making things interesting again, consider introducing sex toys (if you haven’t already.) Spend some time together at a novelty store or perusing an online sex store like adameve.com. This will help the two of you become comfortable with the idea and allow you to openly talk about what you want and dont want to try. If you’ve already been using them, consider getting a strap on or a bondage kit to make things even more fun.
You could also try role playing. Role playing is a great way to let yourself go and be someone else for the night. Pick a movie, book or even scenario that you both enjoy and fall into a role. Get dressed up, put on a wig or accent and see what happens. You’re less likely to be inhibited when you’re acting as someone else and it can help you feel like you’re sleeping with someone else without actually doing so.
Finally, you could try initiating sex spontaneously and outside of the bedroom. We get so used to the right before bed or right before work sex that we kind of forget about doing it in between, say on the kitchen counter or when you’re doing the laundry. Make your afternoons and evenings fun again by surprising your partner when they least expect it. Keep it extra fun by making sure the action goes on in the room you surprised them in. Changing your routine and location can completely turn you on to your partner again and vice versa.
What have you tried to do to make sure your partner was satisfied?
In association with Adam & Eve